Anglo-Saxon Boast

Challenge:

"Seriously? Alex Mason won? There must not have very much competition at that contest, because I'm sure he couldn't even jump over that pencil on the floor.

Boast:

"So I've been hearing people saying that you think that I can't jump over that pencil sitting on the floor. Well isn't that cute. You're saying that I, I who have been practicing jumping over small objects lying on the floor for years, I, who have accepted and won every challenge offered toward the matter, I, who won the world writing-implement-jumping competition against the world's best needle-jumpers and pen-steppers, could not jump over that nub of a pencil? You must be insane. I am the One Who Has Seen The Upward-Facing Sides Of Pencils From An Angle Perpendicular To The Floor On Which We Stand, the Crosser-Over-er Of All That Is Long, Thin, Roughly Cylindrical And About One Centimeter Thick! Before I am done, I will have jumped over every obstacle of this nature in existence!

This pencil will hardly be the greatest challenge I meet. If you don't flee in order to avoid embarrassment as I easily overcome this insignificant challenge of yours, you will see me jump RIGHT OVER THAT PENCIL!!! Then, not even taking even the smallest of rests, I'll do it again, right as you watch! You tripper-over-lint couldn't hope to match it, not if you tried a thousand times. After I am done, I will thank God for letting me pass this pencil's crest without falling over it like one of you, for the day you lint-trippers dissapear, I'll be out of a job.